MY WIFE LOVES ME BUT I LOVE MY EX-GIRLFRIEND

I am a 36 year old man, married with three kids.  My wife is a very good woman but I think I’m in love again with my ex-girlfriend.

After our graduation from school, I went to the U.K for my master’s degree. Before I travelled I had this girl Bola. She actually walked out on me because of the distance between us. But I still had a crush on her. She was quite beautiful and it was not easy for me to chase after her because I left the pretty girl in Nigeria while I went for further education in the U.K. When I returned to Nigeria, I attempted hooking up with her and she hardly gave me much attention. I believed she must have had a lot of men around her so I gave her the space.

Later, I met my wife a very homely girl, quite submissive and caring. Somehow i still kept in touch with my ex-girlfriend. I kept her as just a friend with no strings attached. I always stood by her, encouraged her and advised her like a brother. Although my wife is just good to me, I think there is still a lot that I miss in her that I see in Bola. Bola is very smart, intelligent, and independent and she respects me. I always admired her stylish ways. I got involved with Bola and we started dating again. We have been dating for about two years and three months. I enjoy every single minute I spend with Bola.

My wife has complained very bitterly about my attitude and I know it is all my fault. She has packed out of my house twice because of my lack of attention to her. Even though I went to plead with her and make her come home again, my mind is still on Bola.  Every new day, I lose interest in my wife. My wife nags and complains. My children are now afraid of me because their mother cries in their presence because of me.  I am feeling very guilty as a father but I don’t love their mother anymore. My wife loves me to the point that I am sure that she may hurt herself if I leave her. But I think the best thing for us is a divorce. Bola is still single and she accepts to marry me but my problem now is how can i present this idea of divorce to my wife?